Advent in the extrordinary, advent to last a lifetime

By Erin Spinks

My story~our story, began with one single prayer:

"Lord, you know this baby. You created this baby. You have purpose for this baby. I only know of this baby because you designed it for me. I now lay this baby at your feet, for this is where she was created. I have no idea your purpose for her, or even anything about her, but I trust you made me aware of her for reason. That alone, I will praise you for. I pray for her wherever she is, that she is comforted by you. That You hold her dear and you protect her from pain & fear. This is all I can do."

This is the prayer that I prayed for little Mae the very night the caseworker told me about her. I left her at the foot of Jesus and prepared for God to make a way in her life. Several weeks later, we were asked if we would foster her--not knowing the outcome. Not knowing if mom would do all things asked of her and in a couple of months, have her baby back. I always claimed to have faith, but God, if you want me to be a walking testimony, use me. I remember praying daily--wishing God would just write it in the sky for me. Was this faith? Was I trusting?

One day at church the praise and worship team was singing "I Will Rise"--when you call my name, I will rise. This song broke me down and I could feel the hand of God leading me to do what He knew all along was our plan. Rise and follow--don't ask questions, just rise. So, we decided to step out of faith and get Mae and love her no matter what. I also wrestled with the thought that maybe God wanted to use me to help her mom become a better mom?? I explained to her the first day that we met, that I wasn't sure God's meaning of all this. That I felt God putting me in their lives was for a reason and that I was going to serve them though. Not to worry about Mae, we would love her and guide her through this time in her life.

Months went on, visits came, talks with mom, court cases, tears, and lots of prayers. Her mom knew that I loved her and that our family was a place where her daughter felt safe. It took months of visits, talks, missed visits for me to realize that my love for Mae was not just great because I was here for her, but that her mother, who also loved her dearly, was struggling to find the purpose for her. When I met back with mother in August right before court, I have never had a harder day. Why are you here? What are you doing? --these questions were the first to come to my mind. But softly as I prayed and people prayed for me, I was quiet and I tried my hardest to show love to her mother. I was confused, worried, and had to rely on faith of others to get me through those three weeks before court.

Court was August 26th--termination of parental rights. Was the judge going to see three weeks of visits as a sign that the mother was interested now? Could I deal with that? Again, God softly whispered to me--you are taking the right steps and I have a plan. As we began to talk to mother, she explained her love for Mae to us and that she knew Mae was loved by us and she knew we would take care of her. I remember the look on her face(and I hope to never forget it) as she asked us to please take care of her baby. The circle was complete--my journey was over. But my heart broke into pieces when I explained to her that God brought us together and it was not a mistake, but a plan that neither of us will ever be able to explain.

God had a plan. And He used a year, two mothers, and one precious little baby girl to tell a story--a story of FAITH, a story of HOPE, and a story of LOVE. Because to me, at the end of the day, all I can really do and know for sure is that God LOVES me and He trust me to LOVE others......

Now Mae is officially a Spinks' girl and my heart will be filled to the max!! I am so gratful and so blessed. For all my life, I will live to love and bless others! This story also reminds me that God's children are given to me to protect, love, and teach. They are his--and He is blessing me and Chuck---this is my DREAM COME TRUE!!! Be blessed and bless others....GOD IS SO GOOD!!!!