Seasons Greetings: they're not just for December anymore

By Barbara Kennedy

Christmas cards.

Sometimes I wondered how the Christmas wishes that kept me connected to those I loved became the bane of my Christmas existence… especially since we lived away from family for most of our married life. But as I think back, I can see how it gradually happened.

Before the kids were born (and really after I had my oldest), my Christmas cards were reputed to be the FIRST in everyone’s mailbox. No small feat since I had decided in the '60's to take on my parents’ list after my Mom died. As the number of our offspring grew, the cards seemed to get posted later and later.

I felt (still do) that I can’t post a card without some handwritten bit besides the signatures, so in the early '70’s I added an annual Christmas letter with the cards. Of course, I still added at least a two-line note, but it did save some of the writer’s cramp that set in annually. But the letter had to be written--by me--yet another job.

I resolved at that point to only send to those I wouldn’t see; that lopped the “in-town” crowd off the list... helped a little, but not enough…. Next I chopped the family and those to whom I would actually say “Merry Christmas,” whether in-person or by phone.

By the early '80’s, there were five little Kennedys running around and me thinking “Christmas can’t happen in our house without the shopping, baking, decorating, kid’s programs, wrapping”--all jobs that pretty much fell to me, whether self-imposed or dumped on. “BUT,” thought I, “the Christmas Cards can wait!” So my tag line became, “If the Kings can wait until the 6th of January…why not me?”

What freedom! By doing my cards the week after the big day, I could comment on all the precious pictures, great letters, family news and beautiful cards shared with us. Problem solved…or so I thought.

After I missed the Epiphany deadline for a few years in the '90’s, I then resorted to, “Well, Martin Luther King was a King also, so that gives me until January 15th anyway.” Somewhere along the line I did start to buy New Year’s cards-–or at least greetings that dealt with peace or something relatively innocuous since it was pretty much a guarantee that Christmas would be long gone by the time our greetings hit the mail boxes!

As recently as last year, everyone knew that they would hear from us...when was the only question. I know it was late February the year of Dick’s heart attack before I got to them. By then, people had begun to contact me. They knew by the end of February something must be wrong. Great reputation huh?

Well, here we are at 2009-–and this year I am semi-retired. And believe it or not, my cards were done... letters, personal notes, addressed, stamped and all ready to mail by the 29th of November: I’ve come full circle for sure.

But I couldn’t bring myself to mail them that early. Everyone would surely know something was VERY wrong. Besides, I don’t want people to come to expect this--by next year I could be knee-deep in some other project and it will back to Epiphany--or MLK day--for our greetings.

The moral of this reflection--cut yourself some slack--what really is important on your list this Christmas? Real friends and family are very forgiving… they will love you in spite of your shortcomings. I know.