Everlasting Gifts

By Lillian Craze
Recently something caught my eye in a hand-me-down Ladybug magazine from December of 1996. In the back, there was a Ladybug for Parents section with an article by Michael Schulman titled “What Money Can’t Buy.” Here are some excerpts for your consideration. Enjoy.

“This is the time of year, of course, when we all have presents on our minds. We look forward to watching our children’s joyful faces – eyes wide and bright – as they tear through the paper and ribbon we so carefully wrapped around our selections. As I prowled the toy store in search of something spectacular to give my daughter, thoughts of my friend Joe came to mind.

“Joe is a man of character – the kind of friend you can count on. I’ve seen him through many ups and downs during the years of our friendship – some of the downs quite serious, involving the deaths of loved ones and weighty financial problems. Yet somehow he has always retained his generous optimistic spirit; life’s storms cannot undermine his core of faith in himself, at least for long.”

Mr. Schulman goes on to explain that Joe’s relationship with his father “contributed profound to the man he became” because he received the gift of love from his father. Joe’s father owned a candy store and worked long hours there, often seven days a week. “He didn’t have much time for us to do things together,” Joe explained. “But I remember when I was a little kid – and even later when I was living on my own – that whenever I walked into his store, my dad got a look on his face as if the greatest person in the world had just arrived. His eyes lit up, and I guess mine did, too. I look back on those afternoons… as the best of times.”

The article went on to list “a different, and more meaningful, kind of gift list” that included:

The Gift of Awe
“In the book Earthly Paradise, the French writer Colette describes how she received the gift of awe from her mother, Sido.

“Sido’s great word was ‘Look!’ It could signify ‘Look at the hairy caterpillar, it’s like a little golden bear! Look at the first bean sprout…’

“Sido’s word was ‘Look,’ but in that word was a celebration of the beauty awaiting all of her child’s senses at every turn. Through the gift of awe, our children go out into the world in excited anticipation of what they might find there. Awe for natural beauty gives them a kind of harbor to return to when life’s obstacles seem overwhelming.”

The Gift of Ideals
“This is a cynical age, with few heroes and increasing uncertainty over values. Yet this holiday season, millions of us will sit in front of our TV sets and watch (again) the movie It’s a Wonderful Life… America’s infatuation with George Bailey is curious – and heartening… That simple movie’s thunderous message is that the measure of a life is the good it brings about…

“Our children need to believe in the possibility of living a wonderful life, that there are goals worth striving for, and that their daily ups and downs add up to something meaningful… When parents share the principles they live by, they give their children a head start on the road toward defining their own ideals.”

The Gift of Confidence
“Parents can foster confidence in many ways: by communicating their joy in their child’s strivings, regardless of ultimate success or failure; by assisting those strivings when necessary, but only enough so their child can still feel a sense of accomplishment; by taking their child’s projects seriously, whether she is lining up her stuffed animals in a perfect row or building a castle out of Popsicle sticks; by reminding their youngster that setbacks are a natural part of any worthwhile pursuit; and by retelling stories about persistence…”

The Gift of Love
“A bit more on my friend Joe: As I indicated, Joe’s father enjoyed his son and let him know it. But don’t think they didn’t have conflicts… Joe described his father as ‘a tough old guy who let me know when I was off the mark’… But even then, Joe never doubted that his father was on his side. That’s the essence of the gift of love. If our children come to feel that we root for them even when we find it necessary to say no, we can rest secure that we’ve given them a gift that will last a lifetime.”